Reflections

Monday, 15 October 2007

  •  
    I was in St. Louis this weekend for the CCDA conference.  It was a time of encouragement, seeing familiar faces, meeting new people, great discussions, the preaching of the Word, and in the midst of it all, moments in which God spoke to my heart.  I could sense His nearness in a variety of ways.

    I was reminded how the work that I do now is such a part of God's heart.  Since I finished Mission Year three years ago, I knew that my life would never be the same... but, really, that I could not let it be the same.  I mean, after that year, I could've easily gone back to "life as usual" or, I could walk in obedience and really try to figure out what Mission Year meant in the grand scheme of life... knowing full well that there was no clear answer.

    I saw Andrea, my Mission Year City Director this weekend, who I love dearly.  While we were talking, I said, "you know Andrea, Mission Year really messed me up."  She chuckled because she knew that it was true.  I mean, here I am three years later, working in the city among the poor.  This does not make me a noble person.  This does mean that I am better than anyone else.  But, one thing that happens is that I am faced to seek God not only in the "Sunday morning worship times," but also in the day to day where faith and justice issues collide. 

    Again, I don't feel like I have any answers, and this weekend, I don't think I was given any answers really.  But, I was reminded that I am right where I am supposed to be... I am supposed to be thinking about the things that touch God's heart.  I am not supposed to ignore certain things because they don't make me comfortable.  I mean, to be honest, I get tired some days about always having to think about race relations.  I just get tired... there are some days I want to escape.  But, whether I like it or not, God makes me face the very things I don't want to.  He makes me talk about things I don't want to.  He makes me interact with people that I don't necessarily want to interact with... but, for what purpose?  why do I need to be thinking about such things?

    I think that in these moments, as difficult as they can be at times... it is the very way that I am supposed to be living my life out as a follower of Jesus.  He is making me deal with things that I wouldn't necessarily have "raised my hand" and chosen to do.  But, as these things are before me, I  have chosen to still walk by faith and know that He has me in the palm of His hand.

    So, this weekend I was encouraged to keep pressing on.  I heard from Dr. John Perkins, Wayne Gordon, and Chris Rice who have been on this journey for years.  I was inspired, refreshed, and poured into greatly.  My heart is thankful that road of obedience is far better than disobedience and turning a blind eye to the things God has for me.


    Me and Andrea;  In front of the courthouse where the Dred Scott decision was made 150 years ago


    With my co-workers Mark & Tony

    An excerpt from a worship song I sang this weekend that highlights Micah 6:8...

    We will love justice, show mercy, walk humbly with our God

    Take our lives, Lord, take our moments and our days.
    We offer them to You, we offer them in ceaseless praise.
    Take our hands, Lord, take our feet and let them be a sacrifice to You
    A sacrifice for those in need

    Take our love, Lord, take our silver, take our gold
    And we pray to seek Your kingdom in this world

    We will love justice, show mercy, walk humbly with our God

    This is my prayer.

Saturday, 29 September 2007

  • It's about time




    I see this tree when I leave my place in the morning and when I come back in the evening.  It is a beautiful reminder that Fall is here.  The vibrancy of the color is a reminder that yes, fall is indeed one of my favorite seasons.  The crispness of the air, the orange, the red, the yellow, the scarves, the pumpkins all make me happy.  Sure, Fall is a sign that winter will be here before I know it, but, if we don't stop and pause and look at the beauty around us, I feel like we can miss out on so much.

    So, as I pause, there is so much to just stop and think about as much has happened since my last post of blah... hehe...

    I am now a Wolverine... go blue!  Wow, that doesn't sound so right... go gators! sounds much better. :)  But, if you haven't caught on to what I'm getting at, I'm just trying to say that I started grad school at the University of Michigan-Dearborn this semester.  As I've been going to class the past month and it still hasn't fully sunk in that I'm working toward another degree.  It might have something to do with the fast pace way that I got accepted, or the fact that I haven't been to school in 4 years.  But, whatever the case, I'm enjoying my Public Administration classes so far.

    September has been a month of trips.  Chicago for a wedding. Houston for Joslyn's engagement. These trips in some way, shape, or form have been life giving and allowed me to reflect on the good things of life.  I'll have a quick trip to Dayton, OH for Helen's going away party today, and then in October I'll be going to St. Louis for the CCDA conference.  I feel like the Lord offers such trips to just allow me some 'Nishba time' to think about what living in Detroit really means for me.  I think that while I'm actually here, I never really do that and just go along with the regular day to day activities.

    There is still much to be said, but this is all for now.

Thursday, 12 July 2007

  • I must confess...

    that i'm not a really good blogger...

    i really enjoy reading everyone else's entries.  i like catching up with everyone on facebook.  but man, i don't really know how to share what's going on with me online... i don't know what it is... i enjoy the written word.  i like journaling.  but, somehow, sharing online seems foreign to me.

     i don't know why i don't blog very much... i just don't.

    with that said, here's an quick update:

    Jaison and I are moving to an apartment this weekend.  I am REALLY excited about this (although I'm not excited about the actual task of moving...).  It'll be a nice place to relax and really make into a home.  It'll definitely be better than where we are now.

    At work, summer is in full swing.  Day camp is a couple of weeks in and it has been a joy to see the kids in our neighborhood again.  Even though my role is more with the volunteers, my heart is happy when I get "sneak peeks" with the kids... hugs and smiles and even "stern" talks with them are a blessing... if you know anything about me, you know I come alive when I'm with little ones.  There is something so special about them...

    I really don't know what else to share really... thus, the reason for my first paragraph...

    i guess i need some inspiration of sorts... any ideas?

Thursday, 28 June 2007

Monday, 25 June 2007

  • first day of camp...

    kids...

    LOTS of kids...

    picking up kids...

    kids remembering me... :)

    excited, energetic kids...

    LOUD kids...

    heat...

    90 degree heat...

    lunch break...

    lunch delivered an hour after schedule time...

    down time waiting for lunch...

    craft time...

    recreation time...

    bible time...

    good times...

    precious children...

    may they come to know Jesus...


Saturday, 02 June 2007

  • Quick trips... but so much in my heart...

    A couple of weeks ago, Jaison and I were in Florida to celebrate my darling little sister's graduation from high school... I remember when I graduated in '99 and we were joking about how she would be the class of '07 and how far off that would be...  and now, reality kicks in... she is now a graduate and off to college she will go in a couple of months...I deeply LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her.

    A touch of not so good things that happened the weekend we were there was that my sister caught a 24 hr. bug from her not-so-smart co-worker who came to work knowing she was contagious...  so, my sister felt icky at her graduation and into the following day... the day of her grad party... but, i'm so proud of neezer for mustering enough strength to go, because in the end, I know she had a lot of fun.... the food, the friends, the dancing, and of course... the slideshow.... hehe... :)

    We had a great time with the entire family (which includes some lovin from my brother all the way from Hawaii), and it was oh-so-short...... speaking of short, I took off 10 inches of my lovely locks while I was there... can you tell I'm looking forward to the summer?! And Jaison wasn't so happy when he saw it, but, it's growing on him...

    Oh!  And this past week, my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary.... they're great!

    I'll be taking a quick trip to Chicago tomorrow...  my dear neighbor from Humboldt Park that I previously posted about, Bob, passed away this week... I don't really want to say much on xanga about the thoughts of my heart.... except that I loved this man and he was truly special...

    I'm going by myself, so, I will have a lot of reflection and prayer time to consider everything surrounding the circumstances... his family, his life and the way that I got to be a part of it...

    The Lord is over all....

    especially quick trips of joy and sadness...


Thursday, 10 May 2007

  • We wrapped up our Breakthrough Enrichment Program on Tuesday.  Thought I'd share some pics from our last night:

    ...hula hoop station...


    ...sidewalk chalk masterpiece...


    ...a couple of cuties...


    ...Volunteer Coordinator , Children's Ministry Director, Here's Life Intern...


    ...kids & volunteers in front of the big purple bus...

    ...Now onto Day Camp... It'll be here before you know it...

Friday, 20 April 2007

  • ...letting my thoughts be heard...

    sun + warmth = more people out, short sleeve shirts & flip flops...

    And, it's Friday!!!  I'm thankful for days like today.

    Although I'll be working all day tomorrow and a little bit on Sunday, I'm doing good at the present moment...

    I'm still figuring out what it means to be "me" in Detroit... what it means to honor the Sabbath when I work on the weekends... what it means to be Jaison's wife... what it means to press into the Lord on a daily basis...

    There are definitely days when I feel spiritually attacked... I think it comes with the "being a Christian" part of me as well as "working in urban ministry."  These days are tough on me.  I feel aimless and I feel punched in the gut... these are the days when I don't know what to say to God...

    I'm learning that although it is good to be silent in the presence of the Lord, I shouldn't be silent all the time... sometimes I need to talk to Him and share things even when I don't want to...

    I wonder if I'm really being who He wants me to be or if I find myself stuck in the people pleasing mode.

    I think that I need to stop wondering if I am allowed to be myself... I don't need anyone's permission.

    I guess having lots of unfamiliarity around me causes me to crawl into my shell... and then I end up stuck inside...

    But, there is hope!  Today, I felt like I could relate to Paul when he says...

    "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

    Amen and Hallalelujah!

    Since I believe what he wrote is truth, I should be effected by his statement... I am being renewed day by day, I must not lose heart, my troubles are achieving for me eternal glory, and I must fix my eyes not on what is seen...

    So, on the days when working in urban ministry is tough, I must fix my eyes on what is unseen... that God cares in the midst of crisis, hurt, pain, and suffering...

    On the days when I feel like I can't be myself, I know that I should not lose heart.

    He offers more... He offers grace, love, acceptance, hope, eternal significance...

    And I can receive all of it by trusting in Him... even when I cannot fully grasp why I have to work through so much...

    He's here.

    And so... I revel in the sunshine.  I revel in the moments of victory.  I revel in the awesomeness and goodness of my God......

    Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Friday, 13 April 2007

  • Yay for sunshine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally!
    Boo for having to wear a coat when the sun is out!!! the irony of it all!
    In moments like these, I confess that I miss     Florida......

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

  • “It is important to remember that we don’t engage in the needs, dreams, and pains of our communities so that they will become Christians rather we engage the community because we are Christians.”

    Eric Swanson, To Transform a City

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